I wish I were either rich enough or poor enough to do a lot of things that are impossible in my present comfortable circumstances.

Golf may be a hussy, but I love her.

Comic-strip artists do not make good husbands, and God knows they do not make good comic strips.

There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.

I do not believe in doing for pleasure things I do not like to do.

About the time we get old enough to be as wicked as we want to be, we don't want to be so very wicked after all.

Moralizing and morals are two entirely different things and are always found in entirely different people