I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs.

The chief trouble with jazz is that there is not enough of it; some of it we have to listen to twice.

About the time we get old enough to be as wicked as we want to be, we don't want to be so very wicked after all.

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.

I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. If all you can see is your shadow, you're blocking your own light. If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

Be kind and considerate to others, depending somewhat upon who they are.

An honourable agreement among men as to their conduct toward women, and it was devised by women.