Conversation: The slowest form of human communication.
Comic-strip artists do not make good husbands, and God knows they do not make good comic strips.
A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.
It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.
If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.