It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.

Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.

About the time we get old enough to be as wicked as we want to be, we don't want to be so very wicked after all.

Golf is not sacred, and there is no use getting so gosh-darned solemn about it.

I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs.

I wish I were either rich enough or poor enough to do a lot of things that are impossible in my present comfortable circumstances.

Babies are such a nice way to start people.