If I had my life to live over, I would try to make more mistakes. I would relax. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I know of very few things that I would take seriously. I would be less hygienic. I would go more places. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less spinach. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary troubles.

In all systems of theology, the devil figures as a male person.

There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.

A lot of men think that if they smile for a second, somebody will take advantage of them, and they are right.

Gentlemen prefer blondes, but take what they can get.

Intellectuals should never marry; they won't enjoy it; and besides, they should not reproduce themselves.

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.