If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate his kind.

Life is one damned kitten after another." Mehitabel the Alley Cat

I would rather start a family than finish one.

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with.

If the world were not so full of people, and most of them did not have to work so hard, there would be more time for them to get out and lie on the grass, and there would be more grass for them to lie on.

A great many people who spend their time mourning over the brevity of life could make it seem longer if they did a little more work.