If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate his kind.

Just as soon as the uplifters get a country reformed it slips into a nose dive.

Most of the people living in New York have come here from the far to try to make enough money to go back to the farm

Many a man spanks his children for things his own father should have spanked out of him.

If the world were not so full of people, and most of them did not have to work so hard, there would be more time for them to get out and lie on the grass, and there would be more grass for them to lie on.

In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child's parent or grandparent.

Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.