If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate his kind.

I suppose the human race is doing the best it can but hells bells thats only an explanation its not an excuse.

The most pleasant and useful persons are those who leave some of the problems of the universe for God to worry about.

what man calls civilizationalways results in desertsman is never on the squarehe uses up the fat and greenery of the eartheach generation wastes a little moreof the future with greed and lust for riches

The trouble with the public is that there is too much of it; what we need in public is less quantity and more quality.

You want to know whether I believe in ghosts? Of course I do not believe in them. If you had known as many of them as I have, you would not believe in them either.

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.