When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit.

I don't really tell a joke, I react to situations. The whole thing is just looking at somebody and showing all our weaknesses and exaggerating them, and that's how it becomes funny.

It's just to break things up between stand-up gigs. I would only do it periodically. Maybe just an East Coast thing.

We show a lot of film [with Regis Philbin] from my career which is most enjoyable. I enjoy watching it.

To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.