I've never been mean-spirited, in my opinion. I never did anything below the belt.

If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny.

When you talk about George Burns you're talking about a living legend . . . well, a legend, anyhow.

That I walk around calling people 'dummy' and 'hockey puck'. I do have a different life apart from being sarcastic on stage. I might kibitz around with my friends, but I'm nothing like the person who does stand up. Nothing like that.

To this day, to this very day, except for television, I've never had a writer. Anything I've ever done on the stage, happened on the stage and I developed it from there. It started doing impressions and jokes - which I did very poorly. To this day I can't tell a joke. That sounds nuts, but it's true. I exaggerate it and it becomes a joke. Everything I've ever done I've done out on the stage and it became a performance over many many years.

Who am I to judge is what I say. I'm 90 years old, for crying out loud, and I don't sit in any chariot.

I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew even­tually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.