I've never been mean-spirited, in my opinion. I never did anything below the belt.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.

I don't do impressions.

Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

My whole act is off the top of my head.