Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.

I still think funny, and people young and old still come and see me. That's flattering. The day comes that they stop coming, then I'll know that it's time to retire to the Jewish ranch.

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.

I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew even­tually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.

So many young people think the big sex act is the whole movie, but that's not the case. You need to be able to talk and laugh and cry together.

I've never had a writer, and I'm proud of that. Everything I've per­formed has been from my own head.

I never went out looking for glory.