To this day, to this very day, except for television, I've never had a writer. Anything I've ever done on the stage, happened on the stage and I developed it from there. It started doing impressions and jokes - which I did very poorly. To this day I can't tell a joke. That sounds nuts, but it's true. I exaggerate it and it becomes a joke. Everything I've ever done I've done out on the stage and it became a performance over many many years.

I never went out looking for glory.

My father wasn't much for show business. He was an insurance man - very well-liked, very warm. He had a lot of friends.

My whole act is off the top of my head.

I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all my years in Vegas.

When you're 18, you're just so busy being scared and having fun - a crazy mixture - that you never thought of dying.

Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.