Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.

When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit.

It takes many years to be a great comedian.

I grew up in an Orthodox family, as I grew older, I became Conservative and that's how it ended up. But I've developed that Jewish feel to my act from my surroundings and my family.

When you talk about George Burns you're talking about a living legend . . . well, a legend, anyhow.

Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.

Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.