I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.
I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.
I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.
Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.
Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.
Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend!