I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

In the 45 years I've worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don't even have a hunting license.

I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.

I don't really tell a joke, I react to situations. The whole thing is just looking at somebody and showing all our weaknesses and exaggerating them, and that's how it becomes funny.

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.

I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.