I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

I don't really tell a joke, I react to situations. The whole thing is just looking at somebody and showing all our weaknesses and exaggerating them, and that's how it becomes funny.

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

I still think funny, and people young and old still come and see me. That's flattering. The day comes that they stop coming, then I'll know that it's time to retire to the Jewish ranch.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

When I first went to Vegas, there were just high-rollers and gamblers and the wise guys treated you great.

I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.