I always enjoy being full of fun, but I have my serious moments. Some women go for the studious kind of guy, I certainly was not that. If a girl is looking for somebody different and maybe a little more exciting for themselves - someone more on the fun side, I would suggest that they look for a type like Don Rickles.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

I've never been able to tell jokes. In the beginning of my career I did impressions and jokes like any other comedian, but I was never very successful because I did it poorly. So I started to talk to the audience and started talking about the atmosphere around me and started to become angry, not in a mean-spirited way, but in a fun way - and my attitude developed from there.

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.

My father wasn't much for show business. He was an insurance man - very well-liked, very warm. He had a lot of friends.

Everything I do on stage, I made up in saloons. I started doing it in front of people, and that became my performance. I never had writers.