Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

I can sit all day in a comfortable chair and watch ball games, but I don't need a blanket.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

My whole act is off the top of my head.

It takes many years to be a great comedian.

Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one.

When someone says to me, do you do stand-up I say absolutely not. I like to think of it as a theatrical performance. With me the show changes maybe five to ten percent every night. Of course, whatever I see in front of me and sometimes I get on a little run about it and it changes the show. And my delivery is such that people who have seen me many times say Gee, I never heard that before. Actually, they have, but I might have changed it around.