Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

When you talk about George Burns you're talking about a living legend . . . well, a legend, anyhow.

I always say that comedians and actors were all kind of shy when they were young. I was very, believe it or not, kind of embarrassed as a child. But my mother was a very strong lady and she was the one that kept it going when I thought it would be over for me as a performer. She was always my inspiration and she was a big influence on me.

Frank Sinatra enjoyed my humor, so I could say almost anything to him. I mean, within reason.

Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.

Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.

It's very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that.