Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend!

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

We show a lot of film [with Regis Philbin] from my career which is most enjoyable. I enjoy watching it.

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

When I'm onstage, I'm acting.

Some people call me a legend and the last of the greats, and I appreciate it.