Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend!

You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it.

I always enjoy being full of fun, but I have my serious moments. Some women go for the studious kind of guy, I certainly was not that. If a girl is looking for somebody different and maybe a little more exciting for themselves - someone more on the fun side, I would suggest that they look for a type like Don Rickles.

I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all my years in Vegas.

That I walk around calling people 'dummy' and 'hockey puck'. I do have a different life apart from being sarcastic on stage. I might kibitz around with my friends, but I'm nothing like the person who does stand up. Nothing like that.

I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.

Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.