I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.

Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.

Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.

I've never had a writer, and I'm proud of that. Everything I've per­formed has been from my own head.

I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.