I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.

Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.

The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.

I grew up in an Orthodox family, as I grew older, I became Conservative and that's how it ended up. But I've developed that Jewish feel to my act from my surroundings and my family.

Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.

When I first went to Vegas, there were just high-rollers and gamblers and the wise guys treated you great.