In the old days, that was my ad-lib for hecklers in the joints I worked. It stuck with me. I hardly say it now, say, to fans, even though people do send me hockey pucks.

I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all my years in Vegas.

I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.

I do situations and make fun of authority and life.

I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

I don't feel an obligation to give everyone a hard time, but when they're important people, it's fun.