I've never walked off stage and said, I shouldn't have done that. Because when you do what I do, you're like a fighter. You throw the right hand and say, That's what got me to this dance. You can't have doubt. If you have doubt, there's no show.

In the old days, that was my ad-lib for hecklers in the joints I worked. It stuck with me. I hardly say it now, say, to fans, even though people do send me hockey pucks.

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all my years in Vegas.

I'm not a big one for jokes. I can't tell a joke, believe it or not. If you gave me a thousand bucks and said, "Don, get up at a party and tell a joke," I'm the worst.