I was a mother's boy.

My whole act is off the top of my head.

When you talk about George Burns you're talking about a living legend . . . well, a legend, anyhow.

I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew even­tually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.

I do situations and make fun of authority and life.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.