Most people think I'm Danny Glover's son when they meet me. So when they ask, I say 'No, I'm Crispin Glover's son.' Then we stare at each other for a long time.

There are some rappers out there that I listen to, that I'm like: "You are really good but you could be like the Michael Jordan of rap if you applied yourself." There's a lot of people who are better at basketball than Michael Jordan, but Michael Jordan just wanted to be Michael Jordan, more.

I personally don't believe people really grow. They just learn stuff when they were a kid, and hold on to it, and that affects every relationship they have.

If you're on Twitter, what you're saying is, 'I'm important enough for you to care what I think.'

Writing is a very strenuous thing - it's like banging your head against a wall. At the end of the day, acting is better, just because nobody ever asked me if I wanted a Pellegrino in the writer's room.

Why does every girl in the world wanna date me? Especially right now man, especially when I'm busy!

I hope a kid listens to my stuff, I hope there's a change made and at least somebody walks away with: "I'm doing this because I like it." People are going to hate it and that's okay, but I have to do it because my happiness is important too, it's worth it.