The thing about stand-up was, not only was I getting to write it without anybody saying I couldn't do it, but I got to perform it. It just kind of became therapy for me. I had just gotten through a break-up and I was talking about it a lot.

Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you doing you.

If I'm a faggot spell it right, I got way more than two G's

Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.

My swag is always capital and live in north Virginia.

I try to be me to the utmost.

I think the best music videos are the ones that have nothing to do with the song. Those are all my favorites.