Tiger Woods is a billionaire. Do you know how much ass you can get with a billion dollars? I know guys with $20 and a pack of Newports who'd try to screw your whole neighborhood.

If Elvis is alive, Tupac is alive. I saw Tupac on 46th Street selling Biggie t-shirts 2 for 10 dollars.

A kid asked me for advise about getting into entertainment? I said you better know how to be happy being broke!

The best thing about where comedy is now is if you have a little bit of talent and a strong work ethic, and strong social skills, you can make a name for yourself and you can make money.

Chicks can make you flip more than any drug would.

Challenge yourself with something you know you could never do, and what you'll find is that you can overcome anything son.

That's why when I talk to younger comics, and they say, 'Well I need this and this, and I need so and so,' I tell them they don't need nothing. All you need is some great idea and go shoot it.