Tiger Woods is stupid; not for cheating, but for having one cell phone. What type of player you know has one cell phone?

Challenge yourself with something you know you could never do, and what you'll find is that you can overcome anything son.

Chicks can make you flip more than any drug would.

The best thing about where comedy is now is if you have a little bit of talent and a strong work ethic, and strong social skills, you can make a name for yourself and you can make money.

When I started off in DC, you didn't get viral first. You got funny first.

If Elvis is alive, Tupac is alive. I saw Tupac on 46th Street selling Biggie t-shirts 2 for 10 dollars.

I had a dream this girl was cheating on me! I woke up and went back to sleep to find him, he kicked my ass in my dream!