Challenge yourself with something you know you could never do, and what you'll find is that you can overcome anything son.

Rise and grind... the money ain't gonna wait for you while you sleep son.

Chicks can make you flip more than any drug would.

The better alternative to fighting a guy, go have sex with his girlfriend. That's how you knock a dude out!

I had a dream this girl was cheating on me! I woke up and went back to sleep to find him, he kicked my ass in my dream!

That's why when I talk to younger comics, and they say, 'Well I need this and this, and I need so and so,' I tell them they don't need nothing. All you need is some great idea and go shoot it.

Tiger Woods is stupid; not for cheating, but for having one cell phone. What type of player you know has one cell phone?