Challenge yourself with something you know you could never do, and what you'll find is that you can overcome anything son.

I just had a baby girl. My daughter weighed 27 pounds. She was 3 years old. She was delivered to me by way of the court system and a blood test.

That's why when I talk to younger comics, and they say, 'Well I need this and this, and I need so and so,' I tell them they don't need nothing. All you need is some great idea and go shoot it.

Live life to the fullest everyday, 'cause we never know what day will be our last.

Chicks can make you flip more than any drug would.

The better alternative to fighting a guy, go have sex with his girlfriend. That's how you knock a dude out!

If Elvis is alive, Tupac is alive. I saw Tupac on 46th Street selling Biggie t-shirts 2 for 10 dollars.