I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.

Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.

(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.

Guido Natso is natso guido.

Benchley and I had an office in the old Life magazine that was so tiny, if it were an inch smaller it would have been adultery.

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

Civilization is coming to an end, you understand.