The thing is girls will always say you're lying when you say you had sex with them when you're lying about having sex with them.

I like Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory because some children deserve to be taken to a chocolate factory and tortured. I like Dawn of the dead because you don't normally get to kill all of the zombies hanging out at the mall.

If someone wants to make a joke about me smoking too much pot, I'm not going to get mad at them, because I've put it out there that that's what I do.

I have been in kind of a sexual dry spell lately. In the past few years I've only had sex in months that end in arch... in years that have an Olympics.

Never really intended to be a comedian, just sort of fell into that, but always wanted to be in show business, or something to do with making comedy.

We don't want any pot-smoking vaginas because that's disgusting. And I saw it once in Indonesia, and I've never been able to get it out of my head.

If you have anyone smoking pot in a movie it automatically, I think, knocks it up to maybe PG-13 movie rating and if there's a lot of it, even an R rating, even though chances are it is a legal activity in whatever place the film takes place.