Did you ever try to sleep sober?

If I say f*** the government, some will clap because they agree and some will clap just because you said f***. I've had countless audience members offer me free drugs but I also got free hernia surgery.

Child pornography is the only crime that you cannot report to the police as an eyewitness.

Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.

Canada, the drinking age is 18, that's unnecessary. Nobody wants to get loaded around people who have hope and their whole lives still ahead of them.

Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.

You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green.