You have options when it comes to abortion now. It's not like 1955 when you just had to kick her down a staircase and hope for the best... you feed her a tapeworm and hope it takes a left at the Y.

Tradition and heritage are all dead people's baggage, stop carrying it. Move forward.

Nothing against comedy clubs, they work. But when you're sitting with a tablecloth and a candle and an appetizer menu, three-drink minimum, it can feel more like a dinner theater than a live experience.

There's a fine line between being a sicko and an adventurous spirit.

The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds.

I'm a bit of a potty mouth. My dad used to wash out my mouth with soap, but that was just to get rid of any traces of his DNA.

There should be no such thing as a vice law. Every vice is only a bad habit, and the punishment is inherent in the act.