Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do.

I go on stage, it's like I'm leading you into battle; you are not all going to be here at the end.

When you consider the overpopulation in this world ... homosexuality is completely underrated in this society.

Everything that is going to kill you is extremely appetizing.

A real cop fights real crime. A vice cop's only job is to ruin the party.

Controversial issues are always more interesting but I don't create material about a subject I have opinion on just because it's controversial. The most fun is having a point of view that the audience is generally against and presenting an argument that challenges their thinking.

I have the kind of show that reminds you of your problems, and then I talk about other problems you didn't even know you had until tonight.