Anything that I don't understand or can't do is stupid.

People wrestle alligators but not once has someone done it without an audience.

I've never tried to drive my career in any particular direction. I've always been an in-the-moment, live-for-today guy. I've never had a goal, and nearly everything I've done has been an accident. I just play to me, and if I can amuse myself, I consider it a victory.

They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to the 90-year-old lying awake at the graveyard shift in the nursing home, groaning with dementia. The only reason he hasn't killed himself is that he hasn't figured out a way he can do it with pudding.

I'll defend child pornography, how about that? What's wrong with seeing some child pornography? What if you watch child pornography because you find it hilarious? Then should it not a protected freedom of speech?

There should be no such thing as a vice law. Every vice is only a bad habit, and the punishment is inherent in the act.

Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.