The Unbookables are supposed to be unbookable. That's what it's all about.

The internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV execs and club owners deciding if they are funny or not.

I need you to love me, I don't like me, either, if that helps.

You do bits and you fake anger and you write a bit and you have passion for it. Then you do it too many times and you have to work up the anger... and I've never had to do that with Dr. Drew Pintsky. Dr. Drew is to medicine what David Blaine is to science.

Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something's not accurate?

I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair.