People talk to you and they try to convince you that they like what they do just because it sucks less than what they used to do... which sucked a lot.

That's why cocaine is illegal - it makes pussy too easy to get.

If I were money-motivated, I would spread insidious lies that marijuana is dangerous and addictive and leads to dancing with white women, that your children are at risk of riding that freight train straight into hell or an opium den. Then I'd parlay that fear into a chain of overpriced "rehab" centers that can cure them and shake Satan from their souls. But I am not that ambitious. I am a drunk.

If you have a good product. You don't need to advertise. You've done drugs? Did you ever see them advertised?

Even your religious friends do not want to hear about God during a medical diagnosis.

As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.