You say you hate children and people always say the same thing; it would be different if it was your own child. Well what if it wasn't?

Old people always tell you: 'When you've been around as long I have, then you can argue.' As soon as they're ripped off, it's a different story.

I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasnt particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.

If you have a good product. You don't need to advertise. You've done drugs? Did you ever see them advertised?

I am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee.

I think it's probably much easier to do political comedy from a two-party point of view, in that the majority have some sense of what it means to be one or the other.

Courts and camps are the only places to learn the world in.