I have a picture I keep in my wallet of my father's corpse... I keep that picture in my wallet to show people who show me baby pictures.

When you consider the overpopulation in this world ... homosexuality is completely underrated in this society.

There's times to be dainty and times to be a pig.

I'm in a perfect position. I don't want to be more famous and I can't lose sponsors, so I can say anything I want.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

Nothing against comedy clubs, they work. But when you're sitting with a tablecloth and a candle and an appetizer menu, three-drink minimum, it can feel more like a dinner theater than a live experience.

So you stick something up your ass, and you hope it might work, and it usually helps.