Before modern medicine, would pussies just generally rot up inside you and fall out of you like spoiled oysters on the sidewalk?

I used to do boiler room telemarketing for a living, like hardcore fraud stuff that gets busted on 60 Minutes every week.

I think a lot of women look at prostitutes like they're scabs crossing an union picket line, where they go: You can't just go out and sell it for what it's worth, we're holding out for so much more!

Invent new drugs, that's what you should be doing... fight to get new weirder ones... and weirder establishments to do them in.

I think it's probably much easier to do political comedy from a two-party point of view, in that the majority have some sense of what it means to be one or the other.

I don't like life that much. It's not that big a deal for me... I don't want to know I have cancer till it's visible to the naked eye.

When you consider the overpopulation in this world ... homosexuality is completely underrated in this society.