When you consider the overpopulation in this world ... homosexuality is completely underrated in this society.

Nothing against comedy clubs, they work. But when you're sitting with a tablecloth and a candle and an appetizer menu, three-drink minimum, it can feel more like a dinner theater than a live experience.

Statistical high Vegas odds probability is that nothing of any significance will ever happen to you in your entire boring life.

Child pornography is the only crime that you cannot report to the police as an eyewitness.

When I say that asian women are beautiful it's not a sexual thing. I'm not being degrading, I find them sexually repulsive.

I don't have a gun. But I think they level the playing field. I accept that there's really nothing you can do about it. It's like nuclear weapons; if they exist then eventually other people are going to have them. Maybe just take away people's motivation to use them.

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something's not accurate?