I'm in a perfect position. I don't want to be more famous and I can't lose sponsors, so I can say anything I want.

Excess in moderation: don't drink a few beers every day after work, wait 'till the end of the month and drink all the beers at once.

That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.

There's nothing funnier than getting a death threat via MySpace. Why don't you just write it in a children's birthday card.

Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.

Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.

Your instinct is your true god. Follow it.