My mother was always the one with the dark, really filthy sense of humor. She was a vulgar woman. She used to tell me to do comedy before I even tried it. She was always up for any gag.
Doug StanhopeI drink during every show. I can't remember the last show I did completely sober. It works for me. I use it as a tool. It's like steroids are for athletes. I'm looser and more self-confident. If I drank less, I wouldn't have been on stage this long.
Doug StanhopeHave you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won't bring their kids over to your house?
Doug StanhopeI couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.
Doug Stanhope