A real cop fights real crime. A vice cop's only job is to ruin the party.

If I was a freak of nature... Hell yeah I wanna do freak shows! I don't wanna be applying for jobs at the mall.

Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do.

One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect.

High definition ruined a lot of things that I used to hold sacrosanct in pornography.

You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.

I don't know. Both my parents are dead. So? Wait, I got pictures of their corpses in my wallet. I had them blown up as murals. Here.