You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.

"This is Lakshmi Singh." It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.

So you stick something up your ass, and you hope it might work, and it usually helps.

What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.

If I have to be a monotheist, y'know pick one, I'm picking vodka, it goes well with everything, all occasions.

I've been playing the CNN Drinking Game, have you ever played that? Where you do a shot every time George Bush says the word "evil"? Oh, I'm a wreck! You gotta do a double shot every time he says "evildoers". Chug the bottle for "axis of evil". Are you a president or an exorcist?!

What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.