High definition ruined a lot of things that I used to hold sacrosanct in pornography.

Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!

"This is Lakshmi Singh." It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

If second hand smoke is killing that many people and nicotine is so addictive then why is no one addicted to second hand smoke?

I've been playing the CNN Drinking Game, have you ever played that? Where you do a shot every time George Bush says the word "evil"? Oh, I'm a wreck! You gotta do a double shot every time he says "evildoers". Chug the bottle for "axis of evil". Are you a president or an exorcist?!

AA makes Scientology look credible.