If I was a freak of nature... Hell yeah I wanna do freak shows! I don't wanna be applying for jobs at the mall.

The characteristic of a well-bred man is, to converse with his inferiors without insolence, and with his superiors with respect and with ease.

Anything that I don't understand or can't do is stupid.

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."

Why even moon a sorority girl if they can't see the swingy egg bag part of it?

Excess in moderation: don't drink a few beers every day after work, wait 'till the end of the month and drink all the beers at once.

That's why cocaine is illegal - it makes pussy too easy to get.