I do good things in my life, too. It's just that none of them are funny.

If you have a good product. You don't need to advertise. You've done drugs? Did you ever see them advertised?

There's a fine line between being a sicko and an adventurous spirit.

Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early.

Excess in moderation: don't drink a few beers every day after work, wait 'till the end of the month and drink all the beers at once.

Mutations are exciting, there aren't nearly enough of them.

I am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee.