If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

If I was a freak of nature... Hell yeah I wanna do freak shows! I don't wanna be applying for jobs at the mall.

The Mind is everything. Do drugs. But just don't have drugs.

I need you to love me, I don't like me, either, if that helps.

Some people just join the military because they need college money. Then they're idiots and college wasn't going to help.

Sex is free fun for poor people.

Unfortunately this is where comedy works, where people are the most miserable.