When you come out of that pink ugly hole onto this planet you're nothing but a gooey shrieking wrinkled ball of weakness.
Doug StanhopeI had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasnt particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.
Doug StanhopeI immediately split the crowd. I thought about coming on every night and shouting, 'Gay pride, white power!' just to confuse people.
Doug StanhopeI am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee.
Doug Stanhope