Unfortunately this is where comedy works, where people are the most miserable.

There are some occasions in which a man must tell half his secret, in order to conceal the rest; but there is seldom one in which a man should tell all. Great skill is necessary to know how far to go, and where to stop.

Charlie Chaplin said something to the effect that humor is an act of defiance, that we must laugh in the face of our helplessness in the forces of nature or go insane. And where is he now? Dead.

There’s a fraudulent root element of comedy in that we say things night after night as though they are rolling effortlessly from the brain and off the tongue when in fact they are crafted over weeks and months and years.

The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society.

I've been doing a lot of drugs in the last few weeks and drinking less, and I feel much better.

If you get offended by words - by noises we make with our mouths - it means you were raised by bad parents.