Unfortunately this is where comedy works, where people are the most miserable.

I'll defend child pornography, how about that? What's wrong with seeing some child pornography? What if you watch child pornography because you find it hilarious? Then should it not a protected freedom of speech?

"This is Lakshmi Singh." It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.

Whatever your problems are, keep in mind that you die at the end of all this. Lets get out there, brutalize ourselves and laugh at those certain pricks who take it seriously, like there is any way to win in all this.

Did you ever drink so much of a certain type of alcohol that you get so sick that you can never drink the same kind again ? I've decided that's how I'm going to quit drinking. One-at-a-time.

If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

There's times to be dainty and times to be a pig.