I used to do boiler room telemarketing for a living, like hardcore fraud stuff that gets busted on 60 Minutes every week.

Whatever your problems are, keep in mind that you die at the end of all this. Lets get out there, brutalize ourselves and laugh at those certain pricks who take it seriously, like there is any way to win in all this.

Religion is by no means a proper subject of conversation in a mixed company.

I don't like being in the UK for every other reason aside from the show. It's aesthetically uncomfortable to me on almost every level for reasons that might sound petty but I can't get past. The audiences are far more challenging and while I wouldn't say I prefer it, I certainly need it to ward off my inherent laziness.

What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.

He's my usual type of fan... a school shooter who didn't have bullets and now he's all awkward and alone.

The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying: 'What are you going to do about that, faggot?' That is cowardice. When the bullets start flying past that jock's saucer-shaped ears, that's not cowardice. That's payback.