All traditions are stupid unless you came up with it yourself.

Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive. It makes it so you could care less that they're ugly.

I am 42 years old and I have $9000, and I am out of ideas. I've nothing to spend it on. I'm bored shitless. I will die with that $9000.

I have a picture I keep in my wallet of my father's corpse... I keep that picture in my wallet to show people who show me baby pictures.

So you stick something up your ass, and you hope it might work, and it usually helps.

I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.