All traditions are stupid unless you came up with it yourself.

The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying: 'What are you going to do about that, faggot?' That is cowardice. When the bullets start flying past that jock's saucer-shaped ears, that's not cowardice. That's payback.

That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.

I don't like life that much. It's not that big a deal for me... I don't want to know I have cancer till it's visible to the naked eye.

I'm not saying drinking is all that great but you know it's got benefits; you can't smoke somebody pretty.

I'd get demolitions experts to rig mother to implode like a skyscraper.

Separation of Church and State is the perineum of America and the episiotomy didn't hold.