They never differentiate between drug users and drug addicts... I've done most drugs there are socially, I never had a problem.

I love playing in the UK because there are some topics that you just can't talk about in the States without getting run out of town. So let me just say this: Louis C. K.'s new show sucks.

Old people always tell you: 'When you've been around as long I have, then you can argue.' As soon as they're ripped off, it's a different story.

They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point.

Love is such an arbitrary thing. I love my mom. I love pancakes.

What ever happened to freak shows? Back in the twenties when elephant man was born at least he had a job waiting for him.

Artists who say that they're artists: usually people who need a job.