I need you to love me, I don't like me, either, if that helps.

I've been playing the CNN Drinking Game, have you ever played that? Where you do a shot every time George Bush says the word "evil"? Oh, I'm a wreck! You gotta do a double shot every time he says "evildoers". Chug the bottle for "axis of evil". Are you a president or an exorcist?!

If I die soon, don't ever say I died too young.

I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasnt particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.

Did you ever try to sleep sober?

There's nothing funnier than getting a death threat via MySpace. Why don't you just write it in a children's birthday card.

I don't have a gun. But I think they level the playing field. I accept that there's really nothing you can do about it. It's like nuclear weapons; if they exist then eventually other people are going to have them. Maybe just take away people's motivation to use them.