I need you to love me, I don't like me, either, if that helps.

Have you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won't bring their kids over to your house?

What ever happened to freak shows? Back in the twenties when elephant man was born at least he had a job waiting for him.

Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive. It makes it so you could care less that they're ugly.

Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar.

You say you hate children and people always say the same thing; it would be different if it was your own child. Well what if it wasn't?

I'm forty four; I'm way closer to dead than I am life of the party.